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“Just because you are different does not mean that you have to be rejected” – Eartha Kitt
Welcome to Did You Know?! Black History Month Series!
This weekly series will highlight various facts, events, and educational pieces related to Black history and its ongoing significance for Black people. We hope to provide our members with opportunities to enhance their knowledge, deepen their understanding of the Black human rights movement, and learn about the history that has shaped the lived experiences of Black communities.
To start, let’s explore the concept of racial gaslighting—a term that is often misunderstood but critically important to understand when discussing race, power, and privilege.
What is Racial Gaslighting?
The term ‘racial gaslighting’ was coined by Dr. Robin DiAngelo, a scholar and author, to describe the psychological manipulation in which the lived experiences of Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour (BIPOC) are dismissed or distorted, causing individuals to second-guess their reality of racial discrimination. Dr. DiAngelo has written extensively about the ways in which racial dynamics and biases manifest in everyday interactions, and racial gaslighting is a term she has used to describe the psychological manipulation of marginalized groups, particularly Black people, by invalidating their lived experiences of racism.
It can undermine the emotional and psychological well-being of marginalized communities, making it harder to address injustices and hold others accountable. The long-term effects of racial gaslighting can lead to feelings of isolation and invalidation, leaving BIPOC individuals questioning whether they’re being “too sensitive” or “overreacting” when they speak up against racial injustice.
How Racial Gaslighting Shows Up in Everyday Language
Some of you may or may not have used phrases that, while not intentionally harmful, can come across as gaslighting to Black people and other people of colour. These statements invalidate our experiences, dismiss the reality of systemic racism, or downplay the significance of race and its impact on our lives. Being aware of these phrases and their harmful effects can lead to better conversations, increased empathy, and stronger relationships.
Below are some phrases that can perpetuate racial gaslighting, along with alternative suggestions to promote healthier dialogue and awareness:
Problematic Phrases and Alternatives:
- “I don’t see colour.”
- Alternative: “I recognize and appreciate the diversity of experiences and identities, including racial and cultural differences.”
- “Are you sure that’s what really happened?”
- Alternative: “I hear what you’re saying, and I want to understand your experience better. Let’s talk more about it.”
- “It was just a joke.”
- Alternative: “I can see how that joke might have been hurtful. Let’s talk about why it wasn’t okay.”
- “I was talking about them, not you.”
- Alternative: “I understand how my words could have been hurtful to you, even if I wasn’t referring to you directly.”
- “It’s not always about race.”
- Alternative: “Race can play a significant role in many situations, and it’s important to consider that perspective.”
- “I’m not racist, my friend is Black or I know Black people.”
- Alternative: “Having Black friends or acquaintances doesn’t exempt us from addressing the reality of systemic racism.
- “Black people should just comply and they won’t get killed.”
- Alternative: “We must look at the bigger picture and address the systemic racism in policing that leads to unnecessary harm and violence.”
- “People might listen if they protest peacefully.”
- Alternative: “There are many forms of protest, and it’s important to recognize the urgency of these movements in seeking justice.”
- “If you’re not doing anything illegal you won’t have to worry about the police.”
- Alternative: “We need to acknowledge that racial profiling and bias can still lead to harm, regardless of whether someone is ‘doing anything illegal.’”
- “Racism doesn’t exist here or anymore.”
- Alternative: “Racism may not be as overt as in the past, but it still exists in many subtle, systemic ways that we must address.”
- “Slavery was a long time ago.”
- Alternative: “The legacy of slavery and colonization still impacts many aspects of society today, and we need to understand and address its lasting effects.”
Why This Matters
Your Black Sisters and Brothers have been navigating racism for their entire lives, and we continue to face these challenges daily. We often deal with people who have never had to confront their own biases or who may not understand the deep, enduring effects of systemic racism. If you have used or thought these phrases, it does not make you racist. It’s not that these phrases are inherently malicious, but when used without consideration or awareness, they can cause harm and invalidate the experiences of those who face racial prejudice. OPSEU/SEFPO offers numerous resources, including readings, training, and support from our staff in the Equity Unit, to help you with this learning and unlearning process.
Together, we can work towards a more inclusive and understanding community. Acknowledging and addressing racial gaslighting is an important step in strengthening relationships within our union and our wider communities. Let’s keep learning and growing together!
Stay tuned for the next article in the Did You Know?! Black History Month Series!
In Solidarity,
Nicole Anozie
Equity Executive Board Member
Executive Board Liaison for the Coalition of Racialized Workers (CoRW)